An Unexpected Christmas Meeting

When I was growing up, my "Aunt" and "Uncle" and their daughter lived around the corner. Aunt Mamie was somehow related as a cousin somehow to my dad way down through the lines. She was a character. She was the most jovial person in the world. She had a laugh and smile that would melt even the coldest of hearts. My Uncle Dale was a Studebaker worker and he was the opposite of his wife. She was warm and cuddly and he was stiff and very uncomfortable on the outside with demonstrated affection. On the inside though, he melted like butter with any kind of attention. My mom didn't drive so when we needed a ride home from school or we were sick and needed to be picked up, Uncle Dale was right there to give my mom a ride. Aunt Mamie was my mom's closest friend.

Every Saturday night, they would come over to the house and play a card game called Blitz....and pennies were the prize winnings. We loved it when they came over as we would always have the treat of a glass of soda and a bowl of chips.
On my son's Ej's graduation day from Kindergarden, Aunt Mamie died. It was a painful and sad loss for our family. What was suppose to be a happy evening of celebration turned into a painful one with the news.

On the morning of May 31st in 1985, my sweet mother passed away and oddly enough, that evening my other son, Jon, was due to graduate from Kindergarden. A happy day in so many ways (parents wedding anniversary also), turned to a deeper loss than I could ever explain.
Tonight, as I was coming home from work, I was about to pass the restaurant my dad usually eats dinner at. I had the urge to stop so I did. I found my brother and Dad in their usual spot. I sat down and realized they had been chatting with the ladies at the next table. I sat there for a few minutes and then turned my head towards the three ladies at the table. One was staring right into my eyes and I realized that it was none other than Aunt Mamie's daughter and her two life long friends. I became all teary eyed as I haven't seen Betty since her mom's funeral in 1983. Though she showed the years on her face, the warmth and love in her eyes came shining through. Hugs and lots of conversation followed. We talked about the days of me growing up and we exchanged all of the things we remembered about those days. I proudly showed pictures of my children and caught them up on what my sister, Bonnie, was doing. During a moment of me talking to my dad and brother, I over heard the most wonderful thing. They were talking amongst themselves and were saying how much I looked like my mom. There hasn't been anyone around that would ever be able to say that but these three sweet ladies. I could only fight back the proud tears upon hearing their discussion. It was such an honor and compliment for anyone to compare me to my mom. She was loved so much and admired so much for the sweet person she was. I always thought my mom was the most beautiful woman in the world....and to be compared even in the slightest bit to her was a gift from the past. I could feel my mother looking down on me tonight. I know she was smiling and realizing the impact she made on many lives...especially mine.

It was an early Christmas gift to me. I was able to bring my mom to life in our memory sharing and with any thought that I might resemble her in some way. All girls think their moms are beautiful. My mom was beautiful inside as well as outside. It was a blessing seeing those that surrounded me as I grew up.

Merry Christmas, Dixie!

I sit and wait, does an angel contemplate my fate

and do they know the places where we gowhen we’re grey and old‘
Cuz I’ve been told that salvation lets their wings unfold

so when I’m lying in my bed thoughts running through my headand I feel that love is dead,

I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protectiona lot of love and affection, whether I’m right or wrong

and down the waterfall wherever it may take me

I know that life wont break me when I come to call

she wont for sake me I’m loving angels instead
when I’m feeling weak and my pain walks down a one way street

I look above and I know ill always be blessed with love

and as the feeling grows she breathes flesh to my bones and when love is dead

I’m loving angels instead
and through it all she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection

whether I’m right or wrong

and down the waterfall wherever it may take me,

I know that life wont break me

when I come to call she wont forsake me

I’m loving angels instead

Dorothy Virginia Waters
8/30/1922 - 5/31/1985

It Has Never Been Clearer!

I have heard the story for years and years. I grew up in both a Catholic and Methodist church atmosphere as my parents were each from one of them.

I have heard about it, sang about it, and made yearly family visits to church with your holiday outfits.

You come home and celebrate the presents, baskets of eggs, etc.

I attended church at five o'clock on Saturday this week. It was a good service. The theme of the this year's series is "Simple Christmas". The service was very simple. The music was good. The setting was good but very tasteful and simple. The songs were traditional and simple to sing. Then it came time for the message. The message was very simple about how we should celebrate the birth of Jesus while also remembering the end of the story as it personally has something to do with each of us. Jesus was crucified so that our sins would be forgiven. I get that. I have "felt" that for a while now. I thought I had it all together until.............. Mark Beeson's one statement that changed it all.

Mark's one statement changed the vision and the meaning to Jesus being up there on that cross and for His suffering and journey of pain leading to that cross.

Mark said, "my sins were up on that cross."

It all of a sudden became extremely personal and that whatever I have done, said, thought, or acted on were up on that cross and Jesus shed his blood and lost his life in a most tragic, slow, and painful way JUST so that I could be forgiven. My sins and transgressions were right up there with his pain and suffering so that with my relationship with Jesus would allow the grace of forgiveness and He paid the price so I wouldn't have to.

This season has been one of self discovery for me. My little home is empty of little footsteps and the company of loved ones. I have found solitude however, in the silence that was spoken about in the service. I still have all my loved ones. I haven't lost anything but after the service, I realized how very much more I have gained.

God speaks through radio stories.....

Luke 2:7

7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

While driving home from a great afternoon with a very good friend, I was listening to Christmas stories told by callers. One story really touched me and I wanted to share it with you:

A family of ten got ready for church on Christmas Eve. The eight members of the family ranged from tiny all the way up to the oldest, a teenage boy. All were ready to leave except the 17 year old. He had chosen to not accompany the family. The mom thought it best to "pick your battles" and this was not one of those. They all left and attended church and then the drive to look at the neighborhood's lights. When they arrived home, the mom discovered a strange young man sitting on the couch in the living room. She asked him who he was and the boy explained that he was a friend of her son. The mother heard her son in his downstairs room and went down there to get a further explanation of the stranger in their home. The son explained that the young man had left the area a few years before and when he returned to see his dad, his dad informed him that there was no room at his house for him to stay, leaving him on the street. He turned to his old friend out of desperation. The son asked if it was ok if he stayed there for the night. The mom agreed and then realized that the young man would be there for Christmas morning and present time. She looked in the closet and found some extra things that she wrapped for him so he would have something to open. The next day after the festivities, the young man approached the mom and thanked her for letting him stay and that he had never had a family Christmas in his lifetime. He was moved and touched by the experience and conveyed this with his heartfelt thank you.

Oddly enough, at this particular time of year, when a story that defines the season also had strangers that found there was no "room at the inn".

Had the son gone to church with the family, he would not have been home to let this poor young man know that there is always room for one more and that as Christians, we should always be open without a "no vacancy" sign up. The open door gives way to sharing the Word and the story of mattering to Jesus, no matter who you are or what story you are living!

Thanksgiving, 2008

Let the holiday festivities begin. It is my tradition to decorate before Thanksgiving so that everything is festive and full of atmosphere.

We gobbled up Ham, Sweet Potatoes, Scallop Potatoes, Corn, Rolls, Turkey & Noodles, Pumpkin Pie, and cake.

There is something about candles flickering and the soft glow of white lights that makes the house cozy and warm feeling.

Add a little family and then it is complete. Lindsay, Dawson, Uncle Bill, Grandpa, and me.

Dad and I

Linz and I
Dawson & Liquid Energy
Christmas Tree, 2008
Grandpa, Lindsay, and Dawson

My Fantastic Vacation with Dawson & Taya

Life throws you changes and you either crumble or pull yourself up and move forward. My usual traveling partner could not go this time (tears)and the news came very last minute so my vacation plans were in a whirl.....but..... I was able to take my little Grandson, Dawson, and my very good friend Taya came as well so off we went on this adventure. I was so proud of myself as I was a pro at navigating my way around Orlando and to and from the port for the cruise.

The cruise was picture perfect and the time before and after were so fun. I sat on Disney's private island in a beach chair that sat in the turquoise water and thought that I had never been as relaxed as that very moment ever.

Dawson is seven and was the best boy ever. We laughed and had so much fun and after all the prior week's transitions, it was fun to laugh and have fun with him. I know his mommy missed him and he missed her but I think he felt safe, secure, and loved so that was good. Here is the link to a sampling of the many pictures I took. I hope you enjoy them.

http://picasaweb.google.com/dixiewasik/DixieDawsonTayaSVacation2008?authkey=qSqOJQLKLA8#

From the Eye of My Seven Year Old Grandson - Vacation with Ga Ga & company!

My little Dawson took his first vacation pictures with a digital camera. He did an amazing job capturing all of the images he thought were important or eye-catching. He was so responsible with the camera and diligent about turning it off and keeping track of it. he as incharge and felt all of that responsibility.

I wanted to show you some of his pictures he took. He was a complete angel and I loved every minute with him. It was a very special time!

http://picasaweb.google.com/dixiewasik/DawsonSVacationPhotos?authkey=vFss8rw1IiU#

This is MY now

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

all your life

you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night

Children turn into adults. Mothers know this is coming however, if a child and mother are friends too, this launching can sometimes be delayed. Oh it is inevitable that paths will split and take the mother and child into different directions.

This is my now!

I have had the joy of sharing life together since my marriage ended with my daughterand my grandson. What fun and adventures we have had. We have laughed, cried, argued, disagreed, and shared lifelong memories that no one can take from us.

We also have shared her little boy. I grew very dependent on those morning kisses and nighttime hugs. Seeing those precious eyes brightened each and every day I lived. The reality of not being a daily part of his life is difficult to say the least. I don't always express the foundation to a lot of my emotions. Sometimes i just try to act like a tough guy and that I can get through anything. Reality check. I am struggling.

The house that was once filled with music, the wii, has silenced to a deadening empty sound. I am sitting now and all I hear is my computer fan running. The happy seclusion of my bedroom is now everywhere. It isn't so happy. I am thinking of Christmas morning and Thanksgiving where we together used to do what we did. I am thinking of Halloween....a favorite time of year when the three of us, the Three Muskateers...would go all out to enjoy the spirit of dressing up. Our Disney trips have always been our thing. That was our special happy place. Looking at it now....its not so happy. I am and will get through all of this....

God has made me strong somewhere in here and I need to search for it and cease it. All of my life transitions are coming into view and I look at where I am and for the first time ever, I don't know where to go. It is a scary feeling.

I know that my daughter will be happy and will make a life of her own as it should be. She deserves to have a place to entertain and decorate and make a home for her son and herself and a future person too and who knows....many more little people to love. All I know is that right now....I am searching for the right things to say and how to feel and how to get up each day and the rest of the story.

That is my reality.

This is my now!