Stuck on You...WHAT????

I have the distinct honor of creating some "tiki men" for our Indiana Luau for work this Sunday. Things always look sooooo easy in my brain but I should know that carpentry is not one of my strengths even though creativity is. Somehow I must learn to combine the two so I can create great structures....ok, maybe not great structures but possibly little projects.

I gathered the wood and screws and nails and glue. Super glue.
Side note: Dixie should never ever play with super glue.

I was pretty pumped up to build the "tiki men" so I layed it all out on the living room floor and started pounding. Once I got the nails through the wood, I noticed that it wasn't nailed very tight. "Tiki men" should have strong arms...not floppy ones. I called my good friend Butch for advice because he can do anything. I mentioned that I could use a drill and use wing nuts so that I could tighten and loosen to change the arm positions. I would have to have a special piece for my drill that is running out of battery and I haven't a clue where the battery charger might be. Typical. So once again, I have wood and nails. He suggested that I use super glue in the holes so that it grabs onto the nails. That sounded simple. I went to Wal-Mart to get super glue.

Got home and proceeded to pound nails and I opened the glue and then it happened. My skin got stuck onto the nail...and then I ripped it off my finger and then my hand got stuck to the wood. I pryed it off the wood and tried to put the lid on the glue and the glue bottle stuck to my finger. I pulled the glue bottle off and discovered that my skin was stuck to the lid. I finally broke loose and discovered that I had bits of glue all over my hands which I CAN'T STAND..so I tried to pick it off... Now my fingers hurt from tearing glue off of them. Needless to say, I got them all built and painted. All that is left is putting the decorative mask and finishing touches on the little guys. What an ordeal. I recall that there were two other times I can remember not being a very good carpenter:

• The kids were little and we had bunk beds for the boys. We didn't have bed rails for the top one so I thought, how hard could it be to pound some bars onto the bed. Of course I did this while the father was away because the answer would have been no. I proceeded. By the time I put 40 some nails into it...(and we are talking the Daddy of all nails) the bar stuck. WHAT A MESS. It looked awful not to mention being hazardous with all the nails going every which way.

• The second was Lindsay and I trying to build our sweet little cat a play gym. We had seen them at the store and thought, "no problem" , we can build one. So we took it all out on the deck and proceeded to pound the pieces together strategically according to our outline we drew. We got it all done complete with carpet pieces and went to turn it over and discovered we couldn't. We had nailed it to the deck. So unless our cat wanted to play out on the deck and upside down, we would have to dismantle it and start over.

Crazy times just trying to be creative and proactive with "getting the job done".