Fish Tales - It's just a pain in the fin!

Here is an article about fish feeling pain....so my grandson loses his fish about once every two months.... The last one took a "spill" in the sink and alas...didn't pull through the ordeal. Another one down the flusher....(taps being hummed). My cat scooted the fish tank ever so cleverly to the end of the dresser until it fell...that fish was his mid afternoon snack.... we had a chalk outline on the carpet with "do not cross the crime scene line" for a bit. Just kidding but it would have been appropriate....what a horrible horrible way to go....at least we didn't catch the cat with the tail sticking out of his mouth....the grandchild would have been traumatized for life.

Here we go again. There is a new study out that contends fish feel pain. A professor at Purdue and his Norwegian graduate student attached small foil heaters to goldfish. Half of the goldfish were injected with morphine, half with saline, and then the researchers turned on the attached micro-toasters. After the heat was gone, the fish without painkillers "acted with defensive behaviors, indicating wariness, or fear and anxiety." They had also developed a lovely brown crust. These results echo a 2003 study by researchers from the University of Edinburgh who shot bee venom into the lips of trout. The bee-stung fish rubbed their lips in the gravel of their tank and generally seemed ticked off.

Whenever one of these studies about fish pain appears, animal lovers start glaring at me and my fellow fishermen. If fish can experience pain, then angling must be a cruel sport, right up there with deer hunting, bear baiting, and eating hot dogs. Why can't we just leave fish alone and do something else?

The online reaction to the goldfish pain study was both typical and funny—especially in the United Kingdom, where they seem to take animal news more personally. The assembled mob at the Daily Mail got very rowdy. In one corner, you have comments like this: "Every time I see an angler, I say a little prayer that he will get his fishing hook lodged in his body, and then perhaps he will give some thought to the barbaric 'sport' he is pursuing." In the other corner, comments like this: "I'm a trout fisherman and I can tell you all with 100% accuracy that the trout I catch feel absolutely no pain after I've smacked them over the head with a cosh." The pro-angling side rattled off some good jokes about whether or not carrots feel pain when they are peeled. They also directed a surprising amount of vitriol toward lentils and those who eat them.

Mom

Twenty four years ago this morning...I sat with my mom, uttered the only words I could come up with, "I love you", and watched as the most wonderful woman I had ever known took her last breath on earth. Within a second, she had left me and joined Jesus. It was in the seconds that followed her death that my connection to her was felt the most. As she lay there, my deepest desire was to breathe life back into her, that "forever" was indeed an eternity. When the car came to take her away, I simply was still concerned about her feelings, well-being, and protectiveness that though gone, she would be treated as such. One of the attendants was an old school acquaintance and seeing my grief, made every attempt to treat her as though she were still with us, carefully tucking the blankets around her and not covering her face. My promise was to make sure Mom's hair looked like she wore it and not like a beauty parlor would fix it. I full filled that promise and she was beautiful. We all said our goodbyes.

Now, years later, I can see her in so much of what I do and think. I see her everyday with my daughter and I. We carried on that special relationship and speak of her often. Mom always called Linz her smiley girl...and indeed Lindsay's smile has been a blessing to many. We just talked about the little dolls that Mom kept in a special place in the bedroom so that when Lindsay came over, she would have them to play with. Lindsay's friend, Lisa, made some little dolls and we could so see little girls reinacting Lindsay's experience with hers. I look back at the distinct things my Mom influenced in my children. Ej got his love of drums because my Mom took him to Notre Dame and let him watch the drum line practices. She loved the drums and was always pointing them out to EJ, "Justin" as she called him. Lindsay, it was Mom's compassion for family and our special bond as mom and daughter and the only one to carry on her name. When I look at Jon, I see my mom. He has her special color of blue eyes, blond hair, and definite characteristics from my Mom's side of the family.

I miss her. I remember after she passed that the one thing I missed more than ever was her hugs. One night in my dreams, I was walking by a ball field and up in the empty bleachers at the top on the side was a figure of a woman. I remember being curious and climbing the multitude of bleacher seats to get a closer look. I found the figure to be my mom...silent and never saying a word but reaching out to me and hugging me tightly...and then I woke up. I know she is always with me. My older son refers to her as his angel named Dorothy (Dorothy Virginia) and attributes his safety and guidance to her.

I hope and pray that I can instill in Dawson my love for him as she did with me and my kids. I have witnessed the recent relational separation due to the divorce and I miss my kids being close though miles apart. I am fortunate to see Jon with work and of course, Lindsay and I are as close as we ever were if not closer. I don't get to see Ej and the absence of him is felt daily.

My love for my mom will be carried on by the love I have for my children. No one can take that away from me whether reciprocated or not. I own and have that love. What I feel towards others going forward is the most important kind of love.

I love you Mom and miss you. Happy Anniversary as well. I remember the December before that you wanted to live to celebrate your 44Th wedding anniversary. You left us that morning. Well done, Mom!

A Belated Birthday Thought

My oldest celebrated his birthday the day after mine in March. Our family has gone through major changes and at the root, a parental divorce. You would think it would be easier for older kids to accept and figure out divorce....but in reality, it is more difficult because they analyze everything and tend to "choose" sides of support.

It was a long difficult divorce and as things often do happen, there was a lot of misunderstood information. I want to say that the divorce is simply my divorce and my ex husband's divorce and had nothing to do with the kids in any way shape or form.

This all left a cooling in the family. Due to the stress and the anguish of the entire situation, I didn't publicly express my love for my older son who just turned 32. He lives in California and works by day at Breville and is part of the Underground Orchestra by night and weekend. His band is quite successful and is doing well.

I simply wish to state that I love him, think of him often, and pray that healing happens in his heart. Boundaries are there sometimes for a good reason. Just as I wouldnt interfere with his relationships or decisions, though I might not agree with them, I want him to know just how much I support his life quest and direction he has himself chosen to follow. I am so proud of him in so many ways.

Happy Belated Birthday EJ.... with love!

What value are the words you speak? When you say you are going to do something, do you follow through and do what you say you are going to do? I have had a few instances over the past couple of months where I wanted to meet some friends for breakfast. Something from work has come up or I was not feeling well and cancelled. I know that in these instances, understanding was extended and I appreciated their flexibility. I try really hard to say what I mean, and mean what I say...but I have noticed that with some, words flow easy without any substance. "I will call you soon", "call you in a bit", "lets spend some time together", "I love you unconditionally", all without any substance, actions, or regard at all.

What does loyalty mean? What does it look like? To me, loyalty is just a bunch of bunk unless backed up with actions. Words can state good intentions but if those intentions are genuine, actions will demonstrate them.

What happens when people fabricate and lie to get what they want? What happens when lies are told in order to hurt or discredit someone? So often these come from people who do not have a conscience, who are self-centered, and caught up in their own wants and desires. If you look at a person's history if they are this type of person, there is a history of lies and actions that demonstrate a pathological history. The problem with these people is that they practice it so much, they are very good at being convincing but they would also sell your soul if it benefited them. Those you should be careful with....easy to be burned.

The worst are those claiming to be Christians yet they deceive and demonstrate actions that are no where near what a Christian's actions should be. You know who you are....

Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't be sucked into some one's deception. You are then a part of the problem....and there is no where to go from there except down....

God seeking - God finding

As I have previously posted several times, I have had more God moments in Disney World then anywhere. Where else can you find multitudes of family, friends, and people genuinely wanting to just help other people?

It is my belief that when you have this magnitude of people in one place, and you are in a relaxed state of mind, you are open to "seeing" and "experiencing" the goodness in people and the wonderful gift of loving others. To just visit this extraordinary place isn't enough for me. I love to find and enhance the visits for others. My daughter has this same mentality as she has planned many a Disney visit for others so that they may experience all there is to experience without hassle. I, too, have been the "Disney planner" for my friends and co-workers. The experience is far more than just going. Every child and every adult deserves a little "magic" and "belief" in their lives. This is where believing starts for most kids...with fairytales and stories. Once the art of believing is in place, then much more important things such as God and Jesus are much easier to "grasp" and do not seem so abstract. Santa isn't a good example as that bubble gets popped and then all that belief is destroyed. Whereas, in Disney, the magic is everlasting and the transition from character to character representation is suttle and easy but the believing still remains. Why do adults still get a thrill seeing Mickey? We all know its a costume but it is what he represents that is more of a draw. Walt created a place for families to go and to enjoy each other. He did well. My family has left many echoes in those parks...one leaving his talent of drumming in a parade legacy. It is a wonderful thing to visit somewhere and close your eyes hearing your children's young voices clearly and wonderfully. It is a place where we clobbered my husband with foam clubs as the Grand Marshalls of the Disney parade. He was such a good sport as he was hit and then blasted with a C02 tank. Memories. Good friends and benchmark events fill our years there.

It is not just a vacation....it is a wonderful intermission to life where I can go and see God's family interact, laugh, and for the moments they are there, escape life's pressures.

I am setting off on a journey to help others "experience" what I experience. More to come.

Acts of Kindness - Change the World One Person At A Time!

We all live in this hustle bustle world and we all have a storyline that branches out like you see in a mature oak tree that has grown for hundreds of years.

Every person that you see driving, walking, attending, shopping, etc. has a story. Their trials and tribulations are impacting just as ours are to our daily endeavors. With all of those interactions, big and small, we have a microscopic opportunity, found in a fleeting moment, to change the course of that person's day, their feelings, emotions, etc. What if we were to, for that split second of encounter, make a difference with a kind word, a small gesture, a helping hand, an acknowledgement of caring, a second of our time to help or let someone know they are not invisable. What would our world look like if we all did that all the time, every day, and across the gender, race, religious, culture lines?

We can not change the world issues, trends, settings with a flip of a computer switch or because we tune in to a presedential speech or senate hearing. We elect people to make the changes and we hope they reflect what is right and just. The only thing we have control over is what our thoughts, actions, and choices are. God encourages us to spread the Word by our actions. Everyone feels that they must travel abroad on mission trips or volunteer hours in order for God to be proud of us. It isn't always the big things that impact lives but the encounters we have as Christians with others that can change the course of a day for someone. Showing others they have value by crossing the invisable comfort line can be the most impactful because we are touching an individual's life in a very personal way. It is one to one. It is making a difference by connecting with others if only for a brief moment. Try this in your life and see if it makes not only a difference with those we connect with, but for yourself as a Christian. Here are just a few ideas:

Help someone with their cart or order in a store. Those self service checkouts can be challenging and carts do not always roll especially in the ice and snow.

Open a door with a smile

Reach something high for someone, or lift something heavy for someone struggling

Sincerely tell someone that you appreciate what they are doing whether their job or doing something nice. Let them know you notice.

If someone is short a few cents...give it to them.

Gift card leftovers....save those with small balances and give to someone as they check out...the reaction is heart-warming!

Tell a stranger they look nice, or you like something they are wearing..or hairstyle or a great smile.

Sincerely thank someone for their acknowledgement of you....

The list is endless. It doesn't take money or time consuming energy to make someone's day. If we are truly His advocate, everyday finding someone to lift or help shows a Christian love and appreciation for our blessings that is suttle and representative of God's love for us.

Movies are a great escape if you are wanting to just exit your own thoughts and feelings for a bit. It is always good to pick a movie that is in contrast to what you are wishing to escape.

Tonight I saw New in Town. My friend and I decided it was time for a laugh and a giggle. Sitting in the theater with my legit bottle of water and a small bag of popcorn and she sitting with her little bottle of smuggled water and delicious candy bars. She dropped her bottle of water and tried to discreetly locate the bottle ....which didn't turn out to be an easy task. It went deep under her seat. Well...we got the giggles and soon, we started hearing other giggles that weren't us. I almost got my arm caught as I reached through the seat and found it just as I realized that I was in past my elbow which was now caught. It didn't last long but I can tell you that there was a moment of panic amidst the out of control laughter. She got her bottle of water in time to begin the movie.

This movie really showed a great example of diversity at its ugliest. There are many areas of the country that are small town and simple. We get so caught up in our high society standards that simplistic really spells boring and unexciting. The movie starring Renee Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. showed the evolution of those misplaced judgements and ideals. Humor was the catalyst for a very good message about being open and welcoming to people unlike yourself. Most of the characters were portrayed by unknowns but all filled in the story nicely with a wide range of personalities.

New in Town is a delightful movie and worth the ticket price. It also helps to start the occasion with a friend and lots of giggles.