From the Eye of My Seven Year Old Grandson - Vacation with Ga Ga & company!

My little Dawson took his first vacation pictures with a digital camera. He did an amazing job capturing all of the images he thought were important or eye-catching. He was so responsible with the camera and diligent about turning it off and keeping track of it. he as incharge and felt all of that responsibility.

I wanted to show you some of his pictures he took. He was a complete angel and I loved every minute with him. It was a very special time!

http://picasaweb.google.com/dixiewasik/DawsonSVacationPhotos?authkey=vFss8rw1IiU#

This is MY now

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

all your life

you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night

Children turn into adults. Mothers know this is coming however, if a child and mother are friends too, this launching can sometimes be delayed. Oh it is inevitable that paths will split and take the mother and child into different directions.

This is my now!

I have had the joy of sharing life together since my marriage ended with my daughterand my grandson. What fun and adventures we have had. We have laughed, cried, argued, disagreed, and shared lifelong memories that no one can take from us.

We also have shared her little boy. I grew very dependent on those morning kisses and nighttime hugs. Seeing those precious eyes brightened each and every day I lived. The reality of not being a daily part of his life is difficult to say the least. I don't always express the foundation to a lot of my emotions. Sometimes i just try to act like a tough guy and that I can get through anything. Reality check. I am struggling.

The house that was once filled with music, the wii, has silenced to a deadening empty sound. I am sitting now and all I hear is my computer fan running. The happy seclusion of my bedroom is now everywhere. It isn't so happy. I am thinking of Christmas morning and Thanksgiving where we together used to do what we did. I am thinking of Halloween....a favorite time of year when the three of us, the Three Muskateers...would go all out to enjoy the spirit of dressing up. Our Disney trips have always been our thing. That was our special happy place. Looking at it now....its not so happy. I am and will get through all of this....

God has made me strong somewhere in here and I need to search for it and cease it. All of my life transitions are coming into view and I look at where I am and for the first time ever, I don't know where to go. It is a scary feeling.

I know that my daughter will be happy and will make a life of her own as it should be. She deserves to have a place to entertain and decorate and make a home for her son and herself and a future person too and who knows....many more little people to love. All I know is that right now....I am searching for the right things to say and how to feel and how to get up each day and the rest of the story.

That is my reality.

This is my now!

Sweet Carolina.......

I recently took a weekend mini vacation to Charleston, South Carolina. My sis and her husband winter there in their fifth wheel. They invited me down and I took them up on their invitation. Though it was a quick trip....I was able to see the ocean, downtown historic Charleston, and a 1400 year old live oak tree called "Angel Oak". I have included some highlights of my trip. I loved their fifth wheel....it was spacious and the bed was so comfy. The campground provided some (clear throat) adventures and surprises.....

The first surprise was the camp ground's most famous resident, "Charley the Alligator

Angel Oak is so huge that just one of its many outward stretched limbs doesn't appear large until someone stands by one (sister, Bonnie)

Charleston is beautiful with its gardens and historic buildings.

Arches, gas street lamps, and cobblestone streets adorn the city.

My visit to the ocean on the first day was my chance to get some prayer and solitude. The sounds, sights, and smells of the ocean open the doors to my soul.

Life on the beach is amazingly beautiful.

My sister and I .....just love her to pieces!

This was taken after about 10 pictures....my silly sister started making faces and it snowballed into the funniest picture session.

My nephew AJ, moved to Charleston and is a policeman downtown Charleston. I enjoyed his insights as we walked around.

ARE YOU IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF? Or ..doe someone else have the remote control over your life?

Dr. Bob's message this week has stuck! Do we really think about what we are saying before we say it or do it...usually not. Do we take the time to be "our own steward of thoughts, words, or actions" or do we let someone else dictate to us who we are, what we like, who to be friends with, and who to be? There are a lot of young people especially that first of all, believe whatever they are told, are obedient to someone who has a strong personality and to keep peace, follow their lead to make them happy, or who choose actions towards others because someone told them to even if those people were good friends before. Sounds like jr. high doesn't it? Unfortunately, people that do these things are adults who are in their twenties and thirties and beyond. They are too shallow of individuals to think for themselves or to look deeper than the surface.

I spent the majority of my life with a strong personality. I, over the years, learned to not think, feel, and live for myself but for his thoughts and feelings and it kept peace. After years and years of it, I changed and for the past five years almost, I have been discovering who I am and who I want to be. I, during all those years, De-friended people because "he" didnt' like them or had issues with them. I didn't make new friends because he didn't like to go through that new friend awkwardness. I took his word on "how the story went" and didn't open my eyes to the real story....all sides...and I misjudged others and didn't give them a chance. He was very convincing and could make sense of anything that manipulated things his way. I was gullible and narrow minded for a very long time.

That was then and this is now. I am who I am and I choose to be the way I am today. Dr. Bob said that we need to make a conscious effort to honor God with our words and actions. He made reference to a bracelet to remind him not to complain or dishonor God with what we say or do. It is a shame that we need something like that to remind us not to be that way. His message was dead on. He is amazing.

You have to ask yourself these questions: Am I being a good friend to people I have claimed to be friends with? Am I honoring God with my actions, words, and thoughts? Am I a follower of someone who manipulates and paints pictures so that others do and act how they want them to? Do you call yourself a Christian and then choose purposely to hurt others with your actions and words because it was the "in" thing to do? Does this person who is so manipulative honor God with his or her actions and should this person have so much influence over your life? Following God is the right way.....following someone else and letting them think for you is the wrong way.

Think before you speak....think before you do.....think before you act.....FOR YOURSELF. We aren't clones of each other...we are individuals.

The funny part is that most will read this and discount it as they aren't like that...but there will be a few readers that will know that this pertains to them. Isn't it funny how that works?

Happy Birtday Ej

It was 31 years ago today that my first born came into the world. He made a very dramatic arrival. I was actually due on my birthday. Ej's dad and I went to the movie, Rocky, for a treat. I really got into that movie even going as far as throwing a few punches myself during the fight scenes. I must have tensed up pretty good because as we exited through the lobby, my water broke. It broke so much that I was standing in a puddle. We left promptly for the hospital. Five hours later, they put this darling little guy in my arms. He was perfect. He had enormous eyes and a head full of black hair.
Ej was known as his middle name, Justin, for all those years. It was when we moved to Indianapolis that on the first day of school...he changed his name...and has been called Ej ever since.
Ej grew up to be quite a talented drummer. He left home and traveled to Florida where he worked at Epcot as one of the premiere drummers in the Tapestry of Nations and Dreams parade. He was amazing.
He followed his heart to California where he presently lives in Redondo Beach. He is in the Underground Orchestra, a very cool band that won two LA Music Awards two years ago. I was lucky to go out and watch my very talented son walk the red carpet as seen on tv. I met Bruce Jenner and Leeza Gibbons during the festivities. It was very cool.
Today is his birthday. I celebrate his integrity as a man, his talent as a musician, and his love of his family. Though we aren't together today, we celebrate each other's birthday and that is very special.
Happy Birthday, Son, I am so very proud of you and love you with all my heart!

Hearing a Who

Every once in a while a movie comes out that seems to have a very childlike message such as in Dr. Seuss books. Sometimes, however, within those simple easy to understand stories, there lies a more indepth story that impacts many people. Horton Hears A Who is just such a movie. The popular children's book has hit the big screen complete with big names such as Jim Carry (Horton) and Steve Carrel (as the Mayor of Whoville). Beautiful animation style enhances the story of Horton and the small speck that carries the little town of Whoville on it. Horton finds a way to communicate with the tiny inhabitants much to the disgust of his friends and critics who simply do not hear the little Whoville members as they communicate with Horton. The town matriarch (Carol Burnett) leads others to overtake and destroy Horton and his seemingly ficticious friends on the puffy flower because "if you can't see it, feel it, touch it, it must not exist". Apparently she does not attend church and have a relationship with Jesus. In the physical sense, many might doubt His existence because of these ideals but Christians know different. I love how the media and the arts can sometimes reveal some pretty deep thoughts through the entertainment it can produce.

We are all different...and some are giants and really out there with sound and actions and some seem somewhat insignificant because they aren't. Never underestimate the worth of the small and meek...as what they can bring to the table is sometimes monumental.

Through my jobs, I have always sought out the ones that needed to have a "Horton" in their lives. Someone that believes in them and "listens" to them caring about what they have to say. Inclusion means everyone is important, is heard, and is significant. This movie summed that all up in a delightful way.

Now the question remains, are you a Horton......a Who.....or the part of the crowd that doesn't take the time to believe and listen?

My hair dresser calls me "Dixie Lou Who" and I always thought it was cute....but now....it takes on a whole new meaning..... CAN YOU "HEAR" ME NOW?

Happy Birthday, Lindsay

You may wonder why I would chose a black and white picture of Lindsay in my birthday salute to her life. It is because what puts the color in Lindsay and helps her spread color to all she encounters is what is inside.

She has a pretty face but there is so much more to her than those fun filled eyes and that contagious smile....and here are a few of the things that she colors the world with.....

Did you know:

She loves politics and is well versed in our world and what is happening both past, present, and future.

She is a great debater and most of the time I would say she is dead on....now I say most of the time because it is the most comical thing when she realizes that there might be another angle and she is the first to embrace it all.

She is the funniest girl. She has a quick sense of humor and can make me shoot liquid from my nostrils with her brand of random humor.

She was shy when she was a child...to the point that she would hide behind me in most cases.

She used to be very involved in community service and embraced every opportunity to help others.

She is the Queen of hearts to me...and I won't go any further with that....she knows.

She laughs at what she isn't suppose to....it is hysterical.

She could lead others around Disney World with her eyes closed and blindfolded!

She is the only mom I know that can fold her son up in a stroller not once, not twice, but three times.

She likes her cats fluffy....need I say more!

She loves her job and her team.

She wouldn't hurt anyone for any reason.

She is the most loyal person I know. She is true blue and loves unconditionally.

She is an awesome, fantastic mom.

She is a great friend.

She is the wind beneath my wings........literally and I know that is a cliche' but it is true.

She is 28 today...and I remember the minute she was born. She has my mom's middle name as hers and is the only Grandchild to honor this great lady with her name. Did you know that her hair color determined her name so, with that, this what you might have called her: Bald, Brianne; Redhair, Sarah; Blond hair, Heather; And you guessed it...black hair....LINDSAY!

I love this girl much more than I could ever express. With my wonderful sons and this amazing daughter, friend, mentor, motivator, and encourager, I thank God for the gifts he entrusted to me and the extension of all that in an awesome grandson.

Happy Birthday, Lindsay!